Personal development

Warning signs your spiritual practice keeps you stuck and what to do instead

I am sitting at my small desk, covered with a burgundy and gold cloth decorated with middle eastern motives, that gives me a feeling of comfort, while drinking a cup of black tea with sugar for a sweet and bitter, real-life taste, as I am writing this to you.

I am called today to talk to you about the fluffy spirituality and when spirituality starts to work against you and not for your highest good. I am talking about the lovely, over-positive, always comforting, reassuring spirituality that can keep you trapped, running in circles, not addressing any real issue, and not helping you to change yourself for the good, to serve your highest purpose and support others in a real, meaningful way.

If you ever felt your spiritual practice doesn’t get you anywhere, if you ever felt your life didn’t met any improvement, in the contrary, you seem more lost than before, confused and disoriented, perhaps more preocupied with spiritual experiences rather than living your real life, then this article is for you.

I truly believe in the power of positive affirmations, meditation, creative visualisation, journalling, reiki, positive mindset, and deep healing. I value the power of spiritual energies, celestial beings, elemental energies, archetypes that inspire us with wisdom. I appreciate a lot the absolute bliss we can experience after a sound healing session or any form of energy healing, especially if it involves meditation and sage. It makes us feel good, at peace, more resilient and connected to the present moment. I offer many of these sessions myself, to myself and to you guys too.

What I want to address here is the below:

If all you do in your spiritual practice is to:

  • over-feed your ego with self-sufficient affirmations without taking action
  • engage in excessive self-love practices that encourage egotism without taking the love outside yourself to help others
  • look for messages that confirm your current beliefs rather than challenging your beliefs to find what works in your advantage and what works against you
  • take all the failures as ”lessons” without looking into what was your contribution to the situation
  • practice mindfulness as a form of avoidance and keep yourself busy as a form of escapism without looking at your life and face what is really going on
  • placing the responsibility outside yourself for example: Mercury retrograde, the solar eclipse, the Universe, without looking into what you could do differently to change those shitty circumstances
  • you are more concerned with spiritual matters than earthy matters or your real life. 

Then, perhaps, it is time to rethink if your spirituality really gets you somewhere.

A personal example. I remember when I started to walk on my spiritual path, I learned many techniques about keeping myself positive, hopeful and trusting. But this did not lead me where I wanted to be. I was looking everywhere around, trying to figure our what’s going on, consulting sweet oracle cards that gave me lovely messages of encouragement and reassurance. Yet I wasn’t getting there. And at that point, I started to question and realised that my over positive spiritual practice kept me in a place of avoidance of the truth, avoidance of taking action and bringing those opportunities to me, not waiting for them to appear in my way as I was mostly guided as being the feminine way. It wasn’t until I was ready to meet my shadow side, to face the unpleasant truth, that I was able to make real changes.

Another example is a discussion I had with a student of mine at the beginning of the lockdown. The person just lost her job and she talked about it as a divine timing. She did not have a backup plan and perhaps the job loss wasn’t the best thing that could happen. I honestly doubt that she really perceived the experience positive. But she lied to herself that losing your job at a time of tremendous uncertainty and challenging times is a divine gift. This is what I consider fluffy positivity.

It’s good to formulate sentences that help us move forward and see things a little lighter. But I do not believe in avoiding the truth and topping the shit with cream to make it look like a piece of cake. The shit is still there, believe me. And sometimes this overly positive thinking can do more harm than good.

Here are some ways to use spirituality in your advantage in a way that is healthy:

Self-love – cultivate healthy boundaries, rest when you need, do your exercises, eat healthily, engage in activities that raise your energy levels. But do not stop here. After you filled your heart with love, trust and energy, go and spread the love to others. Do charity work, start a project that supports others, be kind, be helpful, be grateful, love more.

Be willing to see the truth – when something is not going well in your life, look at what you could do to change the situation.
Do you always have problems with money? Look at new ways of making money, get a better job, spend less. Perhaps is time to learn new skills and upgrade yourself.
When your love life sucks, look at where you can meet a person that is like-minded, look at your beliefs about love, look at what you want to offer, and also accept when you are afraid, insecure, needy, too demanding, or overgiving.

Identify and accept your weaknesses – this is a huge step in making any change. Look at yourself and don’t be afraid to look at your shadow. Is there any negative behaviour that you need to address, any aspect that needs to be changed? Perhaps you are lazy, you are afraid to get out of the comfort zone, you’re placing responsibility onto others without taking responsibility yourself.

To use the above example of pretended divine timing of losing a job, a better way of putting this into words is to ask yourself: if I didn’t like this job, what stopped me to look after another job before being made redundant? Did I give my best resources into this job, did I discuss it with my boss? If the organisation you worked for wasn’t suitable for you, what made you stay? The lack of security? Lack of knowledge? Or just the inability to take action? Think what you could’ve done better and identify some spots to take action and prevent the same thing to happen. Learn the lesson by improving yourself, do not stay in the same place and repeat the same errors by perpetuating the same behaviour.

Take action – once you identified your weaknesses things become easier as you are now in a position to change yourself. To use the same example you could look at: what skills I need to upgrade, what behaviours should I cultivate to make myself useful and dependable, how are my communication skills, professional knowledge etc. If you really don’t like the job or the field you worked in look at what you need to learn to be able to make a change.

What I really, really ask you to do is to start taking responsibility, to look at your life with a realistic eye and get yourself ready to face some shadow aspects of yourself that you perhaps don’t like and have to do something about them. Start living a life that is empowering and use your spirituality into your interest to make you an independent, free being. Do not walk around as these naive chickens waiting for their hen to take care of them.

You’re not the new born chicken that just came out of the egg! You are a wonderful human being deserving to live in your full power to make the most of your life in the best possible way!

Until next time,

Divine blessings and inspiration may flow into your way.

Amelia

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